Don't harpoon a gift horse in the mouth.

As of today I have decided that I will only eat what I need and only what I have, myself, caught and killed.

Inevitably this led to me, dressed in primitive furs, standing in Morrisons, shouting at the customer services operative to bring me a yak to butcher. I settled with harpooning a loaf of Tiger bread and survived for another day.

On a lighter note I found out that that thing in the Kebab shop is not called a 'Meat Lathe'. I don't actually know what it is called though so I will continue to call it so.